South Hill Brass Merchandise
The South Hill Brass does not currently offer any merchandise whatsoever, nor have we offered any merchandise in the past. These facts combine with the presently-accepted principles of time and space to make any officially-licensed South Hill Brass merchandise exceedingly rare.
As a consequence of this rarity, it stands to reason that authentic South Hill Brass merchandise would be obscenely valuable. An official South Hill Brass lunch box from 1965 (with matching insulated beverage container) would probably bring thousands of dollars at auction, even in only fair condition. It is speculated that a "Meet the South Hill Brass" compact disc, manufactured in 1958 and still in its original wrapper and jewel box, could command well over fifteen million dollars, and attract the interest of the scientific, technical, and recording communities. So, hold on to whatever South Hill Brass merchandise you are lucky enough to possess.
Since we do not offer any merchandise, it further stands to reason that any merchandise you order from the South Hill Brass would have to be designed and produced "from scratch". This would result in exorbitant prices, as well as extraordinary delays -- delays of over a year would be routine -- for items of questionable quality. Contrary to conventional business practice, we could not even begin working on the product until after we received your payment in full, including shipping and handling fees.
Here are some sample prices, subject to change without notice (all prices are in US dollars, unless otherwise noted):
South Hill Brass Tee Shirt
South Hill Brass Sweat Shirt
South Hill Brass Coffee Mug
un-named South Hill Brass Compact Disc
South Hill Brass limited edition "Range Rover"
w/ 4 wheel drive, leather upholstery
& 6-disc CD changer
Shipping & Handling